When you are pro-war even the abortion doctors call you "baby-killer."

2004-06-26

Score, Bitch!

Just today I found out someone had linked to an image on my webserver and was using it as their Avatar on some silly message board.

So I do what I always do in these situations, I changed the image to something naughty! Hey, he linked to a file on *my* server. I simply changed the image on *my* server - if he hadn't linked directly to it nothing would have happened!

For reference here are the images Before and After:






I did this with some other people many times in the past, typically with pornographic images or at least very vulgar images. I especially enjoyed the one where my graphic was used in some screed against me and my politics. That one definitely became pornographic.

Muahahahahahahahaha!

Update! I have now changed the image to this:

Family Guy

My wife sometimes points out how I don't ever talk about my family. Fine here are my two daughters:








They are 5 and 7 1/2, in Kindergarten and 2nd grade, they love Polly Pocket, Barbies, My Scene, Bratz, kid-sized baby strollers, My Little Pony and Mary-Kate and Ashley *anything* (they have MK & A hair brushes, clothes, makeup, jewelry, poster callendar...).

The TV shows they really like (and scream like crazy if I try to turn off): Ed, Edd and Eddie, Brace Face, As Told by Ginger, The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, Rugrats (both series), Lizzie McGuire, Spongebob Squarepants, Teen Titans (mostly Daughter #2), Sabrina the Teenaged Witch, Malcolm in the Middle, Futureama (if its not a very "grown up" episode) Raven and Sister Sister.

I really wish the TV networks would stop randomly dropping/moving shows. My kids get very upset when a show they have been watching is suddenly gone (Courage the Cowardly Dog, Catdog).

They tend to watch more Nickelodeon and Disney Channel than Cartoon Network. I sometimes co-opt TV time and watch Cartoon Network for Justice League, Batman and Teen Titans. I usually watch Adult Swim long after the kids are in bed.

Daughter #2 likes "scary" shows despite getting nightmares from watching them (the second Harry Potter movie's ending is the last known example). Daughter #1 really like any teen/tween shows and pretty much acts like a tween right now. I am so not looking forward to having two teenaged daughters in the house.

They are both very artsy and have gone through countless reams of paper drawing all manner of flowers, people and animals. They occasionally coerce me into drawing Bender the robot from Futureama or various Dragons.

That's pretty much it.

I am so gonna get slammed by Google searches for all the crap above, *sigh*.

Out of the Closet

If someone were to ask me what I have in my Colossal Closet in KoL I'd reply thusly (yes I know I can combine a bunch of stuff, you think I'm gonna leave assembled goodies for someone to steal?):




asparagus knife (3)
asshat

banjo strings
bar skin (5)

barskin hat (2)
bat guano (2)

big red clown nose
bone rattle

box
broken skull (2)

Bugbear Bungguard (4)
bum cheek

chef's hat (4)
cog (2)

continuum transfunctioner
cool whip

dirty hobo gloves (2)
dried face (3)

empty meat tank (4)
empty Orcish meat locker (3)

frilly skirt
Gnollish flyswatter

Gnollish plunger
guano coffee cup (3)

helmet turtle (11)
Knob Goblin pants (3)

Knob Goblin scimitar (3)
Knob Goblin tongs (2)

loose teeth (10)
meat from yesterday (14)

mosquito larva (3)
Oriole-feather headdress

pants of the Slug Lord
pasta spoon (2)

sabre teeth
saucepan (6)

scroll of turtle summoning (9)
seal-clubbing club

skeleton key
snorkel

Spooky Sapling
spooky shrunken head (2)

Spooky Staff (3)
spooky stick (2)

Spooky Temple map
Spooky-Gro Fertilizer

stolen accordion
strange leaflet

sweet ninja sword
the Dolphin King's crown

viking helmet (3)
white sword

wooden stakes

2004-06-25

A Cheater is You!

Okay OKAY here is some cheating thing for Kingdom of Loathing:

Deep Fat Friars:
Another Council Of Loathing quest, head to the Grove Of The Deep Fat Friars in the Distant Woods and speak to them to learn their problem. Head to the Dark Neck Of The Woods and adventure until you get the dodecagram, do the same in The Dark Heart Of The Woods for the Birthday Candles, and in The Dark Elbow Of The Woods to get the Eldrich Butterknife. Head to the taint with all three items to complete the quest and get the Liver Of Steel skill, which allows you to get up to 20 drunkness.

Now leave me alone!

2004-06-24

Current Events are Fun!

Let's see, current events. North Korea wants to test a nuke. I am guessing the test sites are located somewhere in Japan, or perhaps South Korea. Go ahead and try it, we have a lot of nuke weapons that have been creeping up in years. Maybe we should test a few of them to see if they still work or not, in say, North Korea?

Dick Cheney said the "F" word in the Senate. Good. We need more fucking people unafraid to use goddamn foul language in the world. They are all grown ups there, who fucking cares? Are the Democrats suddenly unaware of the foul language their poster boy John F'ing Heinz uses on the campaign trail? Cheney may be out as Veep next time so he might as well stand up one last time, turn towards the Human Blimp Ted Kennedy and say in that sleep-inducing utterly flat tone of his: "Fuck you all."

Hah! I'd watch CSPAN-1/2/3.14592 long enough just to see that!

Kerry, Gore, Dean can all verbally implode and everyone hides it, but if a Republican says "Fuck" or wants to get a little sumpin' sumpin' goin' with his fabulously hot wife we're in the final days of the Roman Empire! I personally thing Jeri Ryan is trying to dash her husband's political career as some sort of revenge in their divorce.

Woman are just plain evil! Doesn't anyone else realize this may be a case of eeeeevil Woman-revenge (even if he did like to get freaky, isn't it okay now - oh wait he's not BIll Clinton who stuffed that turkey named Monica "because he could")?

I swear I don't know whether to cry or pull my hair out while reading the news anymore.

Ultimate Kingdon of Loathing Cheat

Here is the ultimate Kingdom of Loathing cheat:

http://s93834343.onlinehome.us/KoL.txt

Okay? Find all the stuff, leveled up massively and stop Googling for the answers that end up taking you to this stupid blog thing.

2004-06-22

Fucking Great

I think my CRT monitor is heading towards the grave. It just "popped" and the screen image changed size (kinda zoomed in) then settled back to its normal setting.

Fucking great. The other computer is unusable because the flyback transformer went out on it, its $70 to replace it on my own (I am a certified tech and have years of electronics soldering experience).

Damnit. It keeps getting worse and worse around here. I swear I am going to turn this damn computer off once and for all and be done with it.

2004-06-21

Even Funnier!

Okay to balance the post below, the best thing to see on site trackers are all the people coming here looking for Kingdom of Loathing (web-based text-ish adventure game) tips from all manner of business/corporate domains.

Why bother working at work when you can play a rather infuriating turn-based adventure game on the Internet!

Is it wrong to be working from home and playing games to? There's an XBOX right next to my computer desk, begging me to finish that stupid HALO game. I need some new games that are NOT FSP "twitch" games, I just want to drive/fly around blowing shit up not try to solve puzzles and set up sniping positions and shit.

I'm gonna rent some games from Blockbuster and figure out which ones don't suck and then go buy em. Maybe something with a Star Wars theme. I need SOMETHING else damnit, I'm by myself pretty much all day and most of the evening anymore. And since I'm not allowed to look at porn or talk to people in AIM I gotta do SOMETHING other than "work" or I will go crazy.

It's for my mental health, don't you see?

Old Computers

Every once in a while I see some surfer using Netscape 3.0 surf into my website, and immediately come back using some more-modern Windoze IE variant.

This is really facisnating to me. Are these people using really really old Macs to surf in (since I do Mac software development and services)? If so why on earth are they using such an ancient computer? They dump PeeCees every few years and get relatively modern OSes on the ones they keep (typ. Win2k or even XP if they dare).

And yet the poor little MAC (as they call it, I didn't know it was an acronym) has the original System 7.5.3 and 32 meg. of RAM it came with. Some poor sap is supposed to use this ancient contraption for day-to-day work? I wonder if all the JavaScript in my pages crashes Netscape 3.0 (which would have worked fine if they had bothered to actually BUGFIX the fucking thing on the Mac platform), or if they can even see anything since I heavily rely on CSS now to get my page to look decent.

It really just floors me that people refuse to even touch a Mac computer, as if they will somehow become "corrupted" or dirty. So it languishes and gets ridiculed for being slow or simplistic or just plain crap - conveniently ignoring it had NEVER been upgraded or maintained so of course it is in such a state.

Why fret about this? Because it makes *me* look bad by extension. I am using an older computer and it is pretty much current with the world of tech these days. I have WiFI, the latest Java, 5 FireWire ports, USB, 100BaseT Ethernet and a CD-Burner. I may not have Serial ATA or USB 2.0, but I don't really need them. My graphics card is capable, but not state of the art. Of course that's why I got an XBOX for *less* money than what the friggin' video card cost with steep discounts!

I'd still love to have a new G5, but I don't know when (or if) I will ever upgrade. This setup works, even if its a bit slow at times (due in large part to this stupid hard disk I got in a nice bait-and-switch scam from a computer catalog "store").

In the end IT people are just plain Assholes for ignoring their users and their computers that happen to be Macs.

Welcome to World War III

Iran appears to have "seized" three British "warships." Not sure what that means, exactly. News headlines can be so deceiving. They didn't put up a fight? Okay. Moving on...

A passenger plane landed at an Air Force base, which happens to be right next to a commercial airport. For an unknown reason the people on board were told to shut the window shades almost immediately. Obviously the passengers knew they weren't at the airport (after not disembarking), so why pull the shades? I wonder if something was removed from the plane?

There is a report that the flight crew was replaced. Maybe it was all a mix up? Although I fail to see how an experienced flight crew can not tell the difference between a commercial airport and an Air Force base.

Still waiting for a serious response to the latest beheading of some guy who was not part of any military and was just trying to do his job in a foreign country. Will we move against Saudi Arabia, ever? Will Bush secretly open up domestic oil exploration to fill the gaps in our lovely foreign sources of oil, you know Canada, Mexico, England, Iraq, various South American and African nations - oh and Saudi Arabia?

2004-06-20

Kingdom of Thieves

I swear I went to the hermitage and got a 10-leaf clover. And yet it doesn't show up in my inventory. WTF? Lying bastards!

I don't even really know what I would have done with the 10-leaf clover (maybe pawn it or trade it for some lihc eye pie), but that's not the point. I had it, and it went away without warning.

Stupid thing.

And today all of a sudden I got a TON of "good" stuff. I must have hit some kind of lucky streak. I would have bought a Powerball ticket if I were not barred from receiving large sums of cash for another month or so by our lawyer (long story).

Oh, and I got the strange leaflet and did all that stuff, big whoop. Like anyone would really have "gotten" how that worked without using cheats. And I am old enough to remember ZORK and other text-based games (which had insanely elaborate packaging which belied their plain-text gameplay, the bastards).

I'm just gonna go back to my XBOX and HALO until it pisses me off, again.