When you are pro-war even the abortion doctors call you "baby-killer."

2004-04-22

Collecting TV commercials

Yeah I am one of the weirdos who collects TV commercials. At least, I did. The web site that featured them shutdown due to massive bandwidth costs and then reopened with corporate sponsorship and paid membership requirements. Blah.

Anywho I really like commercials as they are very succinct stories to try and convey some message; buy this car or order this computer or get these pills to make your wife happy (why don't they sell pills to make your wife's breasts larger? I'd really enjoy that).

I am thinking we need to get a TiVo so I can record commercials and put them on my computer to hoard them. I like this phrase, hoard, as it conveys mal-intent or dishonest intentions especially in the context of a large computer company saving nearly $5 billion in cash — which is used to pay down debt and acquire tons of little companies not fund the cloning of Adolf Hitler or something nefarious.

Ever notice the keywords the press uses to describe something they disagree with vs. things they do agree with? Freedom fighters vs. terrorists or militants. Hoard or amassment vs. save, reserve, stockpile.

Anyway I really would like to get several currently airing commercials:

Cricket: The one with the "new faces" in the office and a woman looks over and sees a man staring at her, who happens to be wearing a bright orange jumpsuit of the kind prisoners are given. The spot concludes with the man, still staring at her, slowly licking an envelope. Goddamn that's funny!

FedEx: The one with the asian guy walking through a factory yelling in some language (Japanese?) and walks up to a guy at a desk. They talk (yell) a few times and finally the guy behind the desk says "FedEx" and the boss calmly walks away. That reminds me of a recent episode of The Sopranos. Heh heh.

Burger King: Some of the new ones are funny, the one where the female office bee licks the mayo of the face of the guy who ate her sandwhich and the third guy croaks MMAAAAAAYYOOOO is oddly funny. The ass-kisser one is kinda funny too.

Gonna have to find these somewhere...

2004-04-20

New Decoder - Last Update for now

I made some changes to the IMAO Decoder to make it look better, it is now v1.1. You can see it below. The text is now smaller in the text boxes so that it "fits" better. I was going to add some kind of "code breaking gadget" graphics, but then I took a nap on the couch and am now watching TV so screw it.

It's all fancy looking, but works the same. The purple button takes you to a web site where you can download the app and get any updates rather than hitting this blog all the time.

Click the download links in the post below to get it.

Easter Egg in IMAO Decoder

If you want an Easter Egg in the IMAO Decoder app then do this:

Open the IMAO Decoder app.

Click in one of the two large boxes and type:

Easter Egg!

There's your damn Easter Egg, okay? Don't mind me, the chest pains are slowly going away.

Here is what it looks like:



This is in fact a joke. I might add a real Easter Egg at some point, who knows. I have had a very bad last 4-5 days and don't feel like being creative. You are lucky you have this at all being Conservative Mac users and all.

2004-04-19

New (Working) IMAO Decoder app

Sorry for the delay, had to do the Dad thing, then the Lawyer thing and then the family dinner thing.

I found the problem with the IMAO Decoder, it was as simple as a single character. I have been very preoccupied the past few days with Grownup Stuff comin' at us left and right. Stay young forever kids, and pay all your bills and don't do anything that someone else might not appreciate - especially if they have lawyers too. Blah.

The working IMAO Decoder for Mac OS X is now available for download.

Download it from here.

Mad props to Stephen for patiently (and unknowingly) beta testing this for me. I verified that it is in fact working as it should. Neat!

*Should I put this on VersionTracker/MacUpdate for future updates? Anyone care? Hello?

Holding Pattern

I am not sure why the IMAO Decoder isn't working right now. Technically it is working, its just decoding to the wrong chars for a reason I do not understand as of yet.

I have to get my daughter from school and head to the lawyer's office (long story). I will try to get it working later tonight.

Frank J Fanclub Secret Message Decoder

I am working on a Mac OS X version of the Frank J. Fanclub Secret Message Decoder.

You can download it from me if you want to try it.

You must have two pieces of information, the "one-time pad" for each message and the coded message. I have been trying it out and it does seem to work as described, but without an actual pad and message I can't be certain.

In any event if you want it for Mac OS X, you now got it. It will be tweaked as needed in case it doesn't work properly. It was based on the web page javascript from Orion and adopted to the Cocoa frameworks (for rapid deployment) and built with Xcode 1.1 on OS X 10.3.3 in case anyone was wondering. Should work on 10.2 and newer only.

2004-04-18

Why I didn't like Star Trek: DS9

I figured I am not going to do this on the group-blog, and since I like seeing the Trekkies wandering in here when I post such stuff, here we go.

I didn't like Star Trek: DS9 (considered by many Trekkies to be the best series ever) for a variety of reasons including:

The main character was an underling from Star Fleet put in charge of a non-Federation space station. WTF? How incredibly limited was that decision? It became obvious after a while as the writers added a space ship, which was incredibly small and more "militaristic" looking than previously. Of course that made it look like they needed to cut corners on set design so they made each set piece extremely small. I guess a lot of money was going to Voyager and its massive set pieces? I wonder how many "turf wars" there were when those two series were on air, or even TNG which ran concurrently with DS9 for a season or two (I didn't pay that much attention, sorry).

The idea that a member of Starfleet in charge of a space station guarding the only stable wormhole was also a "spiritual" figure to a non-Federation population would never last in the real world. The external influences of such a situation would always be a factor in anything that the officer was doing. How could we trust him to make the decision that was best for the Federation and Starfleet, his government and employer? This conflict might make for good TV, but it was just silly to watch such conflict as it was completely unreasonable.

The Dominion war element was an interesting massive story arc, but really it was as if the writers decided to just throw every Star Trek aliens' name into a hat and pulled out a few to try and keep people interested in the show. Klingons and Romulans with the Federation against the Cardassians and Breen (highly advanced super warriors who until now never fought the Federation?) and the Dominion from through the wormhole. Actually this part was believable as a heavily Liberal government (the Federation) makes heavily unfavorable treaties with hostile species and sits back while powerful forces collect right in their back yard.

Why couldn't they blockade the wormhole right up front? It was the only entry point for the Dominion so why not place a ton of battle cruisers there to blast every ship coming through? Why not occupy the weakened (by years of conflict and war with the Federation, Klingons) Cardassians to prevent an alliance? Why not annex the Bajorin world?

Where was the massive fleet of military vessels like the Defiant? Why waste Galaxy-class ships in a few tough battles?
Eventually there was a mine field set up, borrowed from The Last Starfighter (The Frontier). Of course this was after the Dominion essentially set up shop in Cardassian space. This is why Liberals shouldn't write war-themed TV shows - they simply haven no clue how to do it right. And when they do it right (Saving Private Ryan), its to point out how awful and pointless war is and how we shouldn't do that icky stuff anymore and instead just negotiate with everyone.

If anything this show is a fictional case study as to why you don't let an organization as clueless and whimpy as the UN make strategic decisions with known-hostile forces. You don't negotiate with terrorists or terrorist states, why is that so hard to understand?