When you are pro-war even the abortion doctors call you "baby-killer."

2004-03-01

Who's Oscar?

I totally forgot about that Oscars thing last night, until like 11:30 PM when I noticed some banner text on FOXNews.com that mentioned it.

All I can say, does Peter Jackson ever comb/style his fucking hair? He always looks like he just rolled off his couch sometime after Noon. The only thing worse looking is Michael Moore, and that's a hard act to almost beat.

At least another African-American woman won an Oscar following Halle "Hit and Run" Berry. You don't know who I am talking about? Oh, it's Charlize Theron who is from South Africa. Put that in your bong and smoke it, damn hippies.

Sean Penn won for being a neurotic/wacky irishmen, quite a stretch for his acting abilities. I wonder how many people expect him to get up there and say "Aloha Mr. Hand!"?

I honestly don' know who else won. My girl Scarlett Johannsen (Ghost World, two new movies that I can't remember) got a British Oscar-compatible award for "Lost in Translation" which I have never seen, and may just have to now. Snubbed in the states by the stuffy walking corpses of the Academy. I wonder how many actually watch the movies at all, before selling their private screening copies to Asian movie pirates.

Did either Matrix movie get anything at all? Most far-left Liberal Theme Oscar? Worst Ending Ever Oscar for Revolutions? Watching the last two Matrix movies gave me a feeling that the creators thought they could stretch out their winning streak with some half-assed way-far-left philosophy and comparative religion college coursework. I'm surprised they didn't show a big hydroponics cave with pot plants to make "hemp" for their raggedy clothing and shit. They could even have put in dialog talking about all the product "hemp" can produce.

I'm just waiting for Spider-Man 2 and Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. Last year's movies are old news. Blah.