When you are pro-war even the abortion doctors call you "baby-killer."

2004-02-17

What Kind of Family Are You?

Had this discussion last night with my wife: What kind of family are you?

Ketchup: Heinz, Hunts or Whatever' Cheapest

We are a Heinz family.

Bread: White, Wheat, or Whatever' Cheapest

Wheat for dad only, everyone else is white (traitors).

Soft Drink: Pepsi, Coke, RC Cola, Dr. Pepper/Mr. PIBB, Sprite, Mountain Dew, Whatever' Cheapest/Store Brand or You are a Mormon family

Dad is Pepsi, Mom is Coke, kids are Sprite or Dr. Pepper/Mr. PIBB.

Meat: Chicken, Pork, Beef, Fish, Vegetarian, Vegan or Whatever' Cheapest

Either Chicken or Pork for all. I eat a nice steak once a month or so only. Fuck vegetarianism or vegans (ever notice how painfully thin they are?)!

Toilet Paper/Paper Towel dispensing: Overhand or underhand off the roll

We are an overhand off the roll family.

Jeans: Levis or Wrangers

We are a Levis family or whatever fad-brand is targeting young girls (Hillary Duff replacing Mary-Kate and Ashely).

Weekends: Stay at home on the weekend with the kids or drop the kids off somewhere and hit the bars/clubs/movies/mall/whatever' open without kids

Stay at home with the kids and rent movies or watch TV shows or surf the internet. We never ditch the kids and spend the evening pretending we are non-parents again.