When you are pro-war even the abortion doctors call you "baby-killer."

2003-12-09

Guilt

I talked to a (female) friend of mine today for like two hours. She just had a hysterectomy a week before Thanksgiving and she is having some lingering problems. I think that she is actually holding onto some kind of emotional baggage from just recently to all the way back ten years or more and this is causing her to feel miserable and not recover from the surgery like she should.

Frankly I have no idea how to help her. She is definitely seeking some kind of help from me (said as much to me today for the first time). I went through some really heavy shit a bit over a year ago and am getting divorced and am living 1,400 miles from my kids during Christmas and one of their birthdays. I know how shitty life can be, believe me.

It hurts me that she is having a really bad time with her health and the guilt-trips she is laying on herself. I'm not talking about normal level regret for past actions, this is worrying about everything she has ever done or didn't do and is now trying to juggle her own health problems, family and the demands of others. I think there may be something else under the surface that she is not ready to tell me yet. I got some hints to it today and I am genuinely concerned now that she is hiding some big issue beyond her health problems.

Obviously someone who needs help has to recognize their need. Then they must seek out help from someone who is willing to offer it. I have been there before and I had to swallow my pride and ask for help to literally not die before. And after I got out of the hospital I had to depend on others to continue to recover, totally subjugating my independence and modesty to total strangers.

My friend has two young kids and a nice home and a decent husband, she doesn't deserve this crap in her life right now. Especially now. There is something more going on with her and I haven't found out what is yet, but I will help her if she wants me to. If you do the prayer thing I am sure she could use it, she is a religious person as well and would appreciate the positive thoughts.